


What's In A Name

by AuthorToBeNamedLater



Series: Keeping Up With The Raptors [15]
Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Hockey, Alternate Universe - Sports, F/M, Family, Hockey, Humor, National Hockey League, Pregnancy, Sports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-03
Updated: 2013-09-03
Packaged: 2017-12-25 12:44:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/953256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorToBeNamedLater/pseuds/AuthorToBeNamedLater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That which Stanislav and Amy call their baby by any other name would still be their baby...but they do have to pick a name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's In A Name

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't given the expectant parents as much attention as I planned on, so here's a little spotlight for them. Just a bunch of familial silliness.

Amy Cibulka sat on the couch in her living room and balanced her Kindle Fire on her seven-months-pregnant belly. The Raptors had the night off and Amy had finally wrangled her husband onto the couch for a baby name debate. “All right, Stan, what do we want to name this baby of ours?”

Stanislav, as usual, didn't have an answer ready immediately. After a few moments he replied, “Well, isn't that what this is for?” and pointed to her Kindle.

Amy sighed and pulled up the baby names websites. She and Stan had opted not to learn the sex of their baby, so name hunting had turned into an almost full-time job. “Want to start with boys?”

“Does it matter what I want?”

Amy gave her husband a sidelong glance and tapped her finger over “BOYS” “OK...Alexander?”

“No.”

“No?!” Amy said in surprise.

“Sandy's real name is Alexandre.”

“So?”

“We can't name our baby after one of my teammates. It would be weird,” Stan explained. “And Rusty and Natalya's son is Alexander.”

“So...no Hank, no Michael, no John, no Ricky...?”

“No.”

Amy let out another sigh. This was going to be more difficult than she'd thought. “Algernon?”

Stan made a face. “What?”

“Hey, you just eliminated a bunch of names. Don't tell me you've actually played with an Algernon.”

“No, but it's a bad name.”

“Andrew.”

“Remember Andrew Warner from Winnipeg?” Stan asked, referring to his former team, the Jets.

“Yeah. What about him?”

“I hated him.”

Amy laughed at her man's frankness. “All right then, no Andrew.” She scrolled down. “So wait, is this name ban limited to just guys on the Raptors now, or everyone who ever shared a locker room with you?”

“Dressing room,” Stan corrected. When Amy glared at him over the top of her glasses, he said, “All right...current Raptors.”

“So Andrew's OK?”

“No.”

“How about Stanley?” Amy picked a name out of thin air. “It's your name in English.”

“Stan and Stan?” Stanislav asked with a quirked eyebrow.

“Stan and Stanley?” Amy suggested.

“Could work,” Stan conceded. “Good name for a hockey player's son.”

“So Stanley is a possibility. Want to write it down?”

Stan made note of the name. “How would you feel about giving our baby a Czech name?”

Amy shrugged. “Sure.” She tapped “Czech boy names” into her search engine and selected the first website. “'Brandeis' is Czech?”

Stan looked at the screen. “Looks like it.”

“And it means 'dweller in a burnt clearing'?”

“We don't have to use it.”

Amy looked at the list of names. _Bartolomej, Cestmir, Dobroslav..._ “Whatever name we give the baby needs to be pronounceable.”

“I can pronounce them all very well,” Stan deadpanned.

“ _Americans_ need to pronounce them,” Amy clarified. “I mean, Dobroslav? What do you call him for short? Dobby? Like Dobby the House-elf?”

“Who's Dobby the House-elf?”

“From _Harry Potter_ ,” Amy said.

“Are we going to name our son Dobroslav?” Stan asked.

“Not if I have anything to say about it.”

“Then why are we talking about it?”

Stan never did like to talk about things for no reason. “OK. Milan?”

“Can't.”

“There's no Milan on the Raptors.”

“Milan Lucic. Plays in Boston. And Milan Michalek in Ottawa.”

Amy took off her glasses and looked at Stan in disbelief. “Now it's the whole NHL?”

Stan shrugged.

“All right, you know what? Here.” Amy handed Stan the Kindle. “Find us a girl name and let's hope this kid isn't a boy.”

Stan took the Kindle. “Start with English names?”

“Sure.”

“Amanda.”

“No. I had an Amanda in one of my classes in Winnipeg.”

“Was she bad?”

“No, but...just pick another name.”

“Allison.”

“Don't like it.”

“Angela.”

“Good.”

Stan wrote the name down and looked at Amy's Kindle for a little while. “Katherine?”

“Hank's wife is Katie.”

“She's actually Kathleen.”

Amy hadn't known that. “She is?”

“Yeah.”

“But we'd call our Katherine Katie too, wouldn't we?”

“What about Kathy? Or Kat?”

Amy considered. “Fair.”

Stan made note of the name.

“Kelly?”

“Ugh. No.”

“Why?”

“Remember Kelly Wysocki from Winnipeg? The student teacher who it turned out had been it therapy for child molestation?”

Stan looked sufficiently creeped out. “No, but I don't think we'll use that name. Kimberly?”

“Kimberly was that little terror who bit me.”

“Killian.”

“That's a beer!”

Stan looked up and turned the Kindle as if he thought Amy thought he was making it up. “It's also a name.”

“It's a beer!”

“Maybe in a couple of years we could have a boy and name him Dos Equis.”

Amy burst out laughing. “No. No beer names.”

“Then I guess Kansas is also out because it's a state?”

“That's an option?”

Stan turned the tablet around again. Sure enough, there was “KANSAS” in the first column.

“Yeah, no. Not unless we could name her brother Nunavut or something.”

“So you think it's a girl.”

“We're on girl names!”

“Do you know something I don't?”

“Names, Stanislav.”

“Lindsey.”

“I knew a Lindsey who was a little puke. We can't name our kid that.”

Stan let the Kindle fall onto his lap and gave Amy an exasperated look. “You know, you gave me a hard time about names but you're just as bad!”

By the end of the evening the Cibulkas had not chosen a name for their little one, but they had certainly had a lot of fun.


End file.
